Maze-ing Maze 250


Maze-ing Maze 250

"Art saved me; it got me through my depression and self-loathing, back to a place of innocence." Jeanette Winterson

Maze 250:  As I have discussed in past posts that this past 8 months have been the worst of my life and yet I feel great about life.  I chose todays quote because I realize that I’m depressed and fed up with life right now.  I also realize that the daily maze and the positive things that have happened around it has really helped me to cope with the fact that my life seems to be falling apart. 

Today really sucked.  I wanted to put a hole in something all day long.  Quite honestly I wanted to hit a bar and find the bottom of a bottle.  I have never been this productive during a bought of depression so I guess that’s why I didn’t understand my mind state.  I don’t have anyone to talk with and I think that makes things harder to deal with.

I have a major issue right now that I haven’t been able to work through since last spring and its taking a toll.  Too personal to share at this time, its something that is somewhat out of my control but is ruining my life and I have to figure out the exit to this maze before I get trapped.  Life you have to love it!

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~ by mazemangriot on February 26, 2012.

36 Responses to “Maze-ing Maze 250”

  1. Aside from your personal dilemma – many of us are experiencing an unexplainable depression or sadness in recent weeks. I feel something in the universe is happening, plus there is a lot of negativity floating around in the world. Hold on to your work, your spiritual source of strength, and remember life is in a constant flux of change. And everything that has a beginning has an end.

  2. You’ ve got a friend here. I sense the sadness, and recognize it…
    I will pray for you, okay. I hope you will be able to drop the things you can’t control .. someone Else can work on those things (so I will pray for that.)
    You are working away little by little on the things you can work on. This is always a step in a healthy direction. I will ask that you will know which things to work on and which to leave in God’s hands. That’s how it works for me. I know it will work for you, if you just keep on that path.

    I sense that you have a lot to share that will benefit others. This is hope in boots! 🙂

  3. I hope that the situation does work out alright and that you’re able to move forward from it. All the best. 🙂

  4. Hope it gets better! I am sure you’ll find the Minotaur in your maze and defeat it.

  5. The first step is that you can see you are unhappy. Are you so unhappy you are willing to do anything to change it?

    I am just a stranger reading your posts. But I too started my poetry blog, and through my expression began to see where life isn’t working. I chose to end something huge, but as its not just me involved I have to be patient and let it run it’s course. This is the most challenging my life has been in years, and yet it is so awakeningly beautiful.

    In short, you are not alone. Yes, we are just readers, but I am rooting for you!

  6. We all go through those endless, confusing, lefeless mazes, but you can certainly find a way out…and don’t forget that we are empowered by our own thoughts and actions. Use them wisely.

  7. Thinking of you and hoping for the best life has to offer.

  8. Thank you for your openness; I’m so sorry to hear where you are at. I have been at the bottom in the past several years as a result of a divorce and it felt crushing at times. I’ll be praying for you.

  9. Love this. The quote really adds to it.

  10. Thanks for sharing! Know that you are not alone; the path is rough right now, but know that it will be worth persevering and clearing your own path up ahead of you. Keep your chin up!

  11. Your work is a-mazing! Yes, I really did intend the bad pun. (sorry) You liked my Reinvention blog post (thanks for that!) so I came over to see what kind of person would like my blog. I found a smart person who is exceptionally talented and creative. I have a personal love of mazes so am really digging your mazes. Are they solvable, or art?

    You say recent days are the “worst of my life” and that “my life seems to be falling apart”. Strong words and a bad place to be. And yet, in spite of this you are in a most productive period and you “feel great about life.” You think you’re depressed, but also recognize all the positive things that have happened around your blog. This has given you strength to cope. I think you’re doing just fine. You are realistic and hopeful.

    May I suggest a different viewpoint? Take some quiet time and put yourself out 5 years into the future and look back at today. Is it really the worst of times? Or is it just a lot of needed change that hurts to get through it? From your new vantage point, what advice can you give yourself? What can you do to make life more together and less falling apart? Or, is the best advice to keep head and heart together and hang tough for a while?

    It’s your life. Live it your way.
    Peace, Elisabeth

  12. Cheer up, sometimes life gives us challenges, but we can all get through it!

  13. All of my life I have been having lucid dreams. People I have known both dead and alive often are tour guides. These dreams are in different life times in different countries but I am always the same person and my dream self knows that I am dreaming. My dreams have been layers of a specific character flaw that points to similar events with the same outcomes. What was once disturbing became obvious.

    Due to a protracted illness my ability to make decisions were limited. While convalescing my dreams escalated and no stone was unturned. I was forced to look back on my life and see patterns which were becoming more clear. It is an incredible journey to have ones life laid bare before them but they say possible death does that.

    Once I understood the pattern as I got stronger I began to watch for those tendencies and began the arduous task of changing old habits of seeing, doing, and being. When I experienced a different outcome there was no dream and I knew that I had done something different. But I have noted that there is the tendency to repeat old behavior that is ingrained. I think the hardest part of change lies first with holding oneself to a higher standard. I dont mean to imply a religious one. I mean to be able to see who I am REALLY being instead of what I want others or even for that matter me to see. It is an ongoing internal war that at times requires the white flag of admonition. Change in the face of truth was and continues to be overwhelming when I see how much of my life is/has in part been untruth.

    I embark on this dream/life journey. Understanding I can’t change everything about myself all at once I seek to change those things that have the most negative influence and outcome. I accept what is obvious without making it disturbing. Change comes with acceptance of what is not what I want something to be. So far the results are positive although I’ve had to accept that it is work in progress. Your work reminds me that the scope of ones life while a maze has entrances and exits. The difficulties and complexities often lie in our ability to make good decisions.

  14. That’s a beautiful quote and every day has its challenges, BUT it always gets better! Every hurdle you can get over whether stumbling or leaping over it is a victory. Stay strong.

  15. The gift of music from God saved my emotional life (and by extension, my physical life) and words allowed me to share that with others. But I have come to believe it is actually the creativitve excersizing our gifts that saves us.

  16. I hope that you feel better!

  17. Excellent. Love these.

  18. hI! The mazes you design are simply amazing, creative and very positive. I am sorry to hear you’re feeling this bad. But it is a passing feeling remember that. Many of us get depressed from time to time, the important thing is to realise that you are not alone, although you may feel that way. There are many people who feel the way you do.

    Do not give up but try to focus on a positive, feel good factor or activity in your life. All the best 🙂

  19. Wow what a beautiful metaphor that never occurred to me, that your mazes are simultaneously and literally your personal journey. Of course this makes total sense, but to see you say that is profound.
    I’ve dealt on and off with deep depression, sought counseling, actively engaged in spiritual work, wrote, acted, everything to keep me going. The beautiful thing about art is that for it to be created, it is not dependent on our own personal saga. Have you ever read The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (same author of The Legend of Baggar Vance). I came across this book only a few weeks ago, but am already on my 3rd time reading it because it shifted my perspective so dramatically and I want it to stick. We don’t have to be healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) to create art, but creating art can very well be the pathway to getting healthy.
    Morning pages (ala The Artist’s Way) help me a lot (as does normal meditation). It’s journaling 3 pages (full size, should take about 30 minutes) first thing in the morning (when you’re more openly connected to your unconscious and have less of a filter) nonstop without lifting the pen from the page until you reach the end. When starting out, you want to go about 8 weeks before going back to reread. And when you do, you will no doubt astound yourself that you have all of your own answers.
    If you need someone to talk to, I’m a willing ear and shoulder.

  20. Keep the faith…keep working…you will find your amazing way out of your maze…and depression! xo

  21. When I read your email, I felt like I was reading about my life. All last year it was like that for me. Seems like the Universe was re-arranging my life, but it was destroying me in the process.
    I feel like things are getting better and now I can see how important was for me to let those things go.
    Good luck in your journey.

  22. Thanks for liking my own blog post. I have survived drug addiction issues, and experienced my own share of on and off again depression woes.

    I’d be more than happy to chat via email or Skype if you need someone to chat with…

    Remember that you have the power to overcome, all you need is a little reminder! 🙂

  23. Every cloud has a silver lining, and every maze has a way out, otherwise it’s not a maze. If your challenges lie beyond your control, try not to sweat it, and focus on what is in your control.

    It will get better, trust me, I know, I’ve been there and gotten out…!

  24. I completely understand where you’re coming from. Being a dialysis patient I too deal with bouts of depression. I truly wish the very best for you. I send you love and light.

  25. Thanks for liking my blog post. There will be a maze in my next children’s book. We all get lost in a maze from time to time. Sometimes reading a kids book or doing something a kid would do helps me. All the best. Hugs from Canada

  26. Absolutely beautiful art work! And have you all heard about The Healing Codes? Helped raise a deep depression I was in from a 10 on a scale of 1-10, to a 5, in 2 hours. Now THAT’S healing!

  27. Thanks for your comment on my blog.

  28. Reading your articles they are beautiful…

  29. Hang in there! One day at a time, you will get there.

  30. My life has just dissolved into nothing, then reappeared as an Alice in Wonderland adventure where the monsters are real!

    Life is a test we pass each day by smiling, quote me =)

  31. astrology mon ami here at word press is doing a terrific job of describing the energy flow we have all been feeling as of late with Astrology and Mars and Mercury being retrograde. One going direct and changing the energy 4-5 and the other Mars that has really been stirring things up and causing the yucky, blues feeling goes forward 4-14… you have amazing work. Thanks for sharing!

  32. You can do it! I am sure many of us understand where you are at. Turn to your blog and use it as a creative outlet and enjoy the freedom and control you have in your space here! You are doing a great job with all of your work! Hang in there and keep on blogging!

  33. *hugs* I learned the hard way we can lean on other shoulders for reinforcement and the courage to plough forward. It’s not easy, but the key to it all is getting up off the floor each day, eyes ahead. You’re on the right track just talking it out.

  34. I am amazed how many people expressed support for you. It must be a good feeling. You’re not alone. This is good.

  35. Maze a day: AMAZEingly beautiful art. Thank you.

  36. Life you got to admit is sheer habit. Life sucks and then I give it on every day basis something to suck on art like a lolly. I hope you come out tops. Take only a day at a time. Happy Easter(belated) and all the days to come,

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