Maze-ing Maze 335

Maze-ing maze 335

“The vitality of thought is in adventure. Ideas won’t keep. Something must be done about them.”
Alfred North Whitehead

Maze 335:  I’ve decided to self publish my first few childrens books.   I still have my goal and will achieve getting an agent or published as I stated.  But now I’ve added self-publishing my projects as counting as reaching my goal.

I hope to raise money for my publishing by offering art/storytelling classes to young kids.   I’ve had the pleasure of sharing my stories with kids classes before and they love the stories so I feel like this will be beneficial for feedback and generate enough funds to get copies of my books.

maze-ing maze 334

maze-ing maze 334

““Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again.” -Bikram Choudhury.

Maze 334: Another day off a small maze.

Maze-ing Maze 333

Maze-ing maze 333

“I love life because what more is there.”
Anthony Hopkins

Maze 333: Thanks to everyone for the comments and advice.  It feels good to know people out there care about me.  I have to say that I love art and what its done for me.  I have really enjoyed this project and especially the mazes.  Taking an empty page and turning it into an enigma.

Today I didn’t work on getting an agent but focused on me.  I realize after writing yesterdays post that I need to get back to writing in my journal regardless of the blog.  It felt like a release to see and be able to read whats going on.  I think that makes it more of a reality to began to deal with it.

I began tackling the issues by getting on the floor with my boys.  We used to play so many games on the floor and for a while now I hadn’t been just playing with them.  I think that just having fun with an activity (outside of sports) that they enjoy shows them that I’m cool again and not just the ruler of the house.  It felt good to see them build and destroy just as much as it felt good to play.  With summer coming up we are going to spend a lot of time together and my goal is to make it fun in addition to all the things they do.

 We practice sports/exercise for about two hours in the morning daily before it gets hot.  And I also make them study for 2 hours.  Usually reading and some skills that they will use the next year.  But I realize that the exercise sports play (as much fun as they have) may not be daddy sliding on the floor building legos fun that shows them my lighter side.

As I’ve done with this project taking it one maze at a time I plan to do with my laundry list.  But getting back to basics with everyone seems to be the best way of doing it.  I know I feel much better than I did yesterday.

Maze-ing Maze 332

Maze-ing Maze 332

“I’ve always been buffeted by circumstances because I thought of myself as a human being affected by outside conditioning.  Now I realize that I am the power that commands the feeling of my mind and from which circumstances grow.”  Bruce Lee

Maze 332:  I need peace.  Before this project I wrote a daily journal.  The blog has replaced that.   The bad part of that is that is because now people visit my blog and it makes me hide my problems.  But I can’t anymore.  Life is great.  But it sucks.  Someone very close to me doesn’t want to live anymore.  And there is nothing I can do about that but feel guilty every moment I don’t call them.  Someone else very close to me was just committed.  I can’t believe what age did to them.  And yet I cannot seem to step up and let them know how I feel.  My marriage has fallen apart and all I do is screw it up more.   And I feel like my kids hate me because I push them to be the best they can be.   I’m broke as hell, and haven’t had an appetite for months.

I’ve dealt with most of this by avoiding the people who need me.  As well as drinking.  I just can’t seem to find peace.  I’ve been so angry, scared, and numb the past year that it feels like I’m actually not here.  The pain in my heart is the only thing that makes me know its real.  I just need a few minutes of peace to find myself

I’ve put so much into this art the last year I feel like it’s the only thing that can save me from myself.  I know I just have to suck it up and wait for things to pass as this is just another part of life.  It’s just hard to stay positive all the time.

I chose the quote because I know I have to change my attitude toward these problems and face them head on instead of avoiding, drinking or anything that doesn’t deal with it.

Maze-ing Maze 331

Maze-ing Maze 331

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
Havelock Ellis

Maze 331: A lot on my mind but can’t find the words to express them in a positive manner.  The maze has several different levels  that add to the illusion.  I feel like I’m really beginning to get a hold of the depth perception in my mazes.

maze-ing maze 330

maze-ing maze 330

“Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?” Joker in Batman the Movie

maze 330: Another day another rejection.  At least with my art everyone that rejects me tells me how much they like my work.  I will send out some more query letters tonight.  Other than that I only planned on how to make things happen today.  I have a couple of ideas that I will start tomorrow that I think can help achieve my goals.

The maze is my day off slash artist impression of Jack Nicholson as the Joker in Batman with his saying about the devil in the pale moon light.  I was watching Batman while doodling and just ran with it.

 My sons had been chased by the same dog in three days so I had to get my Angry DAddy suit on and cuss out the owner.  And of course they blamed it on my sons fear.  Nevermind the law that says they have to be on a leash.  What made it so bad is that my son was chased by one dog and ended up running into another dog off the leash.  I’d warned this person months ago about it and this was the second time in a few days so the entire situation has me angry and not in the mood for art.

Nonetheless mission accomplished.

Maze-ing maze 329 I cannot be stopped once I’ve made up my mind!

Maze-ing Maze 329

“You create your opportunities by asking for them.”

Shakti Gawain

Maze 329:  Today I hit 50,000 page visits for the blog!  So that was a great accomplishment for the project.  Thanks to every single person who has spent time viewing the maze madness that I’ve spilled all over the world-wide web.

I also have a new project with  http://www.grammarmancomic.com/  I will be completing a series of 5 mazes that are geared toward helping people to learn english.  Although I like to use my mazes to educate and inspire people this project can help promote my art outside of the US.

Day 2 mission agent/publisher.  I spent about an hour collecting agent contact info.  Then I started the process of sending out query letters to the list.  I even got rejected 10 minutes after sending one out.  I must have caught the agent at their computer.  She loved the samples but didn’t feel they could be “sold at all” to the children’s industry.  I have to admit I probably didn’t send her the best examples.  Hours later I got another rejection with the agent saying she may want to work with me in the future however.  So that one more NO to add to my list, but oh yea I no longer accept NO.  So its on to the next! And a maybe that I can live with and use as a positive to keep me going.

I also spoke to an author who has become a friend.  She put several of my mazes in her book which will be published in the next few weeks.  She gave me some great ideas as well.

I also spent some time on Linkedin trying to connect with people in the industry.  So the second day was strong but I think that with 28 days remaining I need to come with stronger more aggressive tactics.  I don’t know what yet but my marketing efforts need to be as unique and eye opening as my art.  Again to all the visitors who enjoy my work please feel free to tell the world about my mission!