Don’t mistake slow progress for failure!
Have you ever had so much faith that you begin to question your sanity? Have you ever witnessed a side of you that scared you beyond your strongest fear?
I ask because I got on the scale a few days ago and I weighed in at 159 lbs. This was a shock since a year ago I weighed 190. And since I wasn’t trying to lose weight kinda of scary. Although I actually look and feel better I know its because of my choice. My choice to follow this path of making a living from my art.
Most would assume that I’m crazy sacrificing my health to follow my purpose. But I have to share with you why I refuse to work for others at this point in my life. Simply put I am crazy, but sane! See I’ve had three jobs in my life that ended in a manner that gave me the understanding of why people go postal. And one job where I waited in the shadows of a car garage to beat the hell out of a boss that took a promotion away from me for offenses that as he put it “we are just now adding to the rule book.”
Then there was the job that I took time to create a position for and they loved it, needed it and wanted it but felt that my idea could be better served by someone else. Then laid me off!
I say all that to say that after going through several painful, sanity testing jobs I refuse to bend over and take it in the a**. Furthermore I realized back then and more now that I have the ability to create a living from my talents. Problem is my wallet/lack in consistent sales in everything from door to door flyers, art and sports training has lead to a decrease in weight.
Its good now as I’ve lost all my “marriage weight” so I’m pretty lean and ripped. But another month like this and I will definitely be approaching dilapidated. I say all of that to stress the point that I’m scared as hell. Not of starving to death, being homeless, losing everything or any of the things that have came my way in my pursuit.
What scares me is that I realize that I will do whatever it takes at all costs to control my own destiny and live out my purpose. Daily I make 100+ calls to business and what have you to sell my ideas, art, and what have you. And I’ve made money that more times than not takes care of my boys. I feel that my patience in my slow progress will be rewarded for me or eventually my sons and their family.
My only fear at this point is that I’m wrong and will die not seeing the fruits of my hard work and dedication.